Jerryd Louis Aviles, age 19, passed away on Tuesday, February 20th 2024.
The most alone I have ever felt was driving home from work on a chilly February evening. My son left a note that I would find three days later: “I never thought I would be writing one of these, and I’m not too big on the idea…”
He asked his little Sister to please leave so that he could protect her from any excessive pain. Even while consumed by depression, Jerryd was always thinking of others and tried to protect me and his little sister from the full horror of his suicide.
Abbee and I stood on the front lawn, shivering from the night cold and the sheer terror. I didn’t just feel alone. I felt like I was in a vacuum in the middle of space, with everything I knew being pulled away. The universe was suddenly vast, and I was very, very, very alone.
After what seemed like an eternity, the police officers told me plainly, “Jerryd is Gone.” What followed had to be honest. I had to tell the truth.
By the time I sat down to write my son’s obituary, I knew that the opening line could only be one thing:
Jerryd “Jarod” Louis Aviles, 19, of Brooklet, Georgia, born to Carlos and Alena Aviles, SEBHS c/o 2023 died from depression and suicide on February 20, 2024. Jerryd is survived by his mother, Alena; Father, Carlos; his little sister, Abbee Gayle Aviles; Maternal Popa and Nana, Jerry and Cindy Edenfield; his Uncle and Aunt Nathan and Monica Edenfield; and five cousins (Bailey, Gracie, Ethan, Ian, and Owen), his paternal grandma and Step Grandpa also survived Jerryd, Mike and Susan Hardiman, His Uncle and Aunt Miguel and Denise Aviles; and three cousins (Alex, Samantha, and Joey); His Half Uncle and Aunt and her Husband; (Jim Hardiman) and (Jamee and Tyler Brown); and three cousins (Landon, Lincoln, and Adam). All will miss his cheerful attitude and bright smiles. Jerryd was an avid outdoorsman who enjoyed hunting with his cousin Joey Aviles. He was a proud member of Duck Gang: Cooper Morgan, Macay Way, Collin Jackson, Ethan Mullis, Trey Anderson, Mason Hodges, Tyler Alojado, and Geffkin Guest were all brothers to him. Jerryd was a centerfielder and pitcher for SEBHS and SEBMS, and he helped lead his middle school team to a state championship. He also played all-star baseball from 8 to 15 years old. However, what he enjoyed more than anything was Hunting Deer and Duck…as well as fishing for largemouth bass. Jerryd also has an extensive collection of Anime characters.
I went on to share with everyone — friends, family, students, and work colleagues — the cause of my son’s death: depression and suicide. I told them that my hilarious boy, caretaker of the underdog, God-loving, kind, generous, helpful, silly, and whole-hearted, class-clown, loving son, couldn’t see any of that in himself, and it killed him. I told them that his depression created an impenetrable fortress that blocked the light that he showed everyone else from his ability to see himself for the fantastic God-filled young man that he was, preventing the love of his friends, his family, and any sense of comfort and confidence from reaching him.
That stark statement was a sudden moment of lucidity in which only one thing mattered: the truth.
My loneliness and terror in the front yard were nothing compared to the absolute isolation that depression had imposed on my son. I had to tell the truth.
Depression lied to my son and told him that he was worthless. A burden. Unlovable. Undeserving of life. I imagine these lies were like a permanent white noise in his life — a running narration of how unworthy he was. After years of lies and torment, my son believed that depression told him the truth. In the note he left for my husband and I, Abbee, Joey, family, Anna, and all friends that knew him, Jerryd wrote, “Please don’t let this affect you; you are strong.”
He was so wrong. Depression lies. I must tell the truth.
Here is the truth: My Son was unique and continuously amazed me daily, and I learned from his strength. He exuded life and made my life millions of times better just by existing. Any time I needed help, any time I was struggling, any time depression and anxiety overwhelmed me, Jerryd was there. Whenever I had a good day, I needed to share it with him. He was my anchor. Jerryd and I had a relationship and a closeness that I will never have again.
Depression stole decades of our lives together. Depression lies. I must tell the truth.
My son’s depression fed his desire to keep it secret and hidden from everyone. I could not save my son. I could not reach my son through his depression. Jerryd slipped from my grasp, and I cannot bring him back. I can only urge others to distrust the voice in their head that comes from depression. I can plead for people to seek help and treatment. I can talk about depression and invite others to the conversation. I can tell everyone who will listen that depression lies. I can tell the truth.
The lies of depression can exist only in isolation. Brought out into the open, lies are revealed for what they are.
Here is the truth: You have value. You have worth. You are loved. Trust the voices of those who love you. Trust the enormous chorus of voices that say only one thing: You matter. Depression lies. We must tell the truth.
A thick black line separates the before and the after of my life with my precious baby boy: I’m still new to the after territory. It feels uncertain and disorienting — like walking through a carnival funhouse where the floor is uneven, rotating, slanted, and curved.
I know only two things for sure: Depression lies. I will tell the truth. Please join me.
I urge those who may be contemplating suicide to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or visit save.org.
The family will receive visitors on Saturday from 5:00pm until 7:00pm at Joiner-Anderson Funeral Home in Statesboro.
The funeral will be held on Sunday at 2:00pm in the funeral home chapel with Pastor Jody Bryant and Pastor Zac Case officiating.
Interment will be at Antioch Primitive Baptist Church Cemetery in Emanuel County.
Pallbearers will be the “Duck Gang,” Geffkin Guest, Macay Way, Cooper Morgan, Collin Jackson, Ethan Mullis, Tyler Alojado, Trey Anderson, and Joey Aviles. Honorary pallbearers will be Alex Aviles, Christian Alojado, and Mason Hodges.
Friends may sign the online register book at www.joineranderson.com
Joiner-Anderson Funeral Home & Crematory of Statesboro is in charge of arrangements.
